To those who are married, .. Not married ... And soon to be married

MARRIAGE .

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.

Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.

I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.

Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.

I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.

I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more.

There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one.

Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out..

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.

I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion,

the car,

property,

the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah.

These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and

do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a heart.

JW's Win $1.3M Discrimination Lawsuit

JW's Win $1.3M Discrimination Lawsuithttp://www.eeoc.gov/press/7-31-09.htmlThe U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity CommissionPRESS RELEASE7-31-09AT&T PAYS $1.3 MILLION TO SATISFY JUDGMENT IN RELIGIOUS DISCRIMINATIONLAWSUITEEOC Prevails in Jury Verdict and Subsequent Appeal for Two Customer ServiceTechnicians Fired for Attending Jehovah's Witness ConventionJONESBORO, Ark. - The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)today announced that a Satisfaction of Judgment was entered in U.S. DistrictCourt for the Eastern District of Arkansas, Jonesboro Division, in areligious discrimination lawsuit brought by the federal agency againstcommunications giant AT&T, Inc. on behalf of two male customer servicetechnicians who were suspended and fired for attending a Jehovah's WitnessesConvention. AT&T paid a total of $1,307,597 pursuant to the judgmentsentered in the case.In October 2007, a jury of nine women and
three men awarded the two formeremployees, Jose Gonzalez and Glenn Owen (brothers-in-law), $296,000 in backpay and $460,000 in compensatory damages under Title VII of the Civil RightsAct. During the four-day trial, the jury heard evidence that both men hadsubmitted written requests to their manager in January 2005 for one day ofleave to attend a religious observance that was scheduled for Friday July 15to Sunday July 17, 2005. Both men testified that they had sincerely heldreligious beliefs that required them to attend the Jehovah's Witnessconvention each year. Both men had attended
the convention every yearthroughout their employment with AT&T. Gonzalez worked at the company formore than eight years and Owen was employed there for nearly six years.The case was tried in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District ofArkansas, Jonesboro Division (Case No. 3:06-cv-00176), before Judge LeonHolmes. AT&T appealed the jury verdict to the Eighth Circuit Court ofAppeals. The Eighth Circuit sided with the
EEOC and upheld the jury verdict.The amount awarded by the jury at trial grew to $1,307,597 with theinclusion of interest and front pay. Judge Holmes granted the EEOC's requestfor an injunction prohibiting AT&T from
engaging in any employment practicewhich discriminates on the basis of religion."These two employees never should have had to choose between their jobs andtheir sincerely held religious beliefs," said EEOC Acting Chairman Stuart J.Ishimaru. "With increased religious diversity in
the workplace, employersneed to be extra vigilant in guarding against discrimination based onreligion."Title VII prohibits religious discrimination and requires employers to makereasonable accommodations to employees' and applicants' sincerely heldreligious beliefs, as long as this does not pose an undue hardship.EEOC Supervisory Trial Attorney William A. Cash, Jr., who tried the casewith agency attorney Darin Tuggle, said, "These were two outstandingemployees who simply should have been
allowed to attend the Jehovah'sWitnesses Convention as they had done during their employment with AT&T.When employers or management officials
attempt to make an example out ofemployees by discriminating against them, as
was done in this case, there isa high price to pay."EEOC Regional Attorney Faye A. Williams
of the agency's Memphis DistrictOffice, which has jurisdiction for Arkansas, remarked, "We are pleased thatthis matter is now over and these gentlemen may now move forward with theirlives. These men took a stand against a large employer for their sincerelyheld religious beliefs, and justice has prevailed."According to company information, AT&T is the largest provider of both localand long distance telephone services, DSL Internet access and wirelessservice in the United States, with 74.9 million wireless customers and morethan 150 million total customers.Religious discrimination charge filings (allegations) reported to EEOCoffices nationwide have substantially increased from 1,388 in Fiscal Year1992 to 3,283 in FY 2008.The EEOC enforces federal laws prohibiting employment discrimination.Further information about the EEOC is available on its web site atwww.eeoc.gov.